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 Drink's On Me // Alex

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Anastasia Orlova

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PostSubject: Drink's On Me // Alex   Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:22 pm

give a little time to me or burn this out, we'll play hide and seek to turn this around
ALL I WANT IS THE TASTE THAT YOUR LIPS ALLOW, OH MY MY, GIVE ME LOVE
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Most people in Lehigh came to The Iron Hoof for the alcohol. Half of them came for the pool and to watch the races that were onscreen day in, day out, but mostly it was the alcohol that had them coming back. The reasons were varied; some enjoyed the buzz that a few rounds brought to their consciousness, some enjoyed the way that inhibitions could be broken and they could relax in a way that they couldn't while sober. And then there were the ones that found solace in the bottom of the bottle, or more accurately, at the bottom of ten.

She herself had been one of those people, but for many years Nastia hadn't touched a drop of alcohol. When she was back in Russia, her grandparents forbade it for fear of her relapsing back into alcoholism, and by the time she was in Scotland, she forbade herself from drinking for exactly the same reason. She couldn't trust herself around the poison; she knew that one drink could easily turn into ten, and one evening of drinking would quickly turn into seven evenings, fifty-two weeks a year. Alcohol gave Nastia a lot of things: a few drinks bought a glorious buzz that made everything around her so much better; a simple game of pool became so much more fun when your head was feeling slightly fluffy, and clubbing was just exhilarating. For times when she was prone to wandering down Memory Lane and dissecting memories that should have been left alone, the drink bought her peace and allowed her not to think of anything, letting her pass out in blissful forgetfulness. But she was a person that got easily addicted, and more to protect her grandparents from having to stand over her in hospital again rather than actually caring about herself, she had forced herself to stop.

But then she'd come to Lehigh, and for once in many years she'd allowed herself to taste the vile drink. She had quickly learned that just like in her homeland, drinking here was a social thing - one couldn't be out and about without a bottle of beer or a glass of wine to nurse through the night. At least here people preferred the weak stuff, at least they did until they wanted to party; then the hard stuff would come out and she felt like she was back home. After being abstinent from it for so long, all the beers tasted vile to her and the wines tasted either too tart or too sweet. She'd nursed a beer once to try and fit in one evening, but she'd quickly stopped, deciding that she would either stick to lemonade, or if she really wanted a drink, she'd pick something with a lot of vodka. No point in wasting money on drinks that couldn't get her tipsy.    

She ran her hand through her currently-blonde locks, green eyes surveying the bar. Chatter filled the air and the girl smiled; it always felt so friendly whenever she came here. Even if she wasn't drinking, she never felt judged for it. Not by the handsome bartender who brought her her lemonade with the same cheerful smile that he had for those that drunk the more potent stuff. Not by the country lads that often challenged her to pool, nor the kindly gents who explained on how exactly to bet on horses (she hadn't understood a word, but she'd nodded and smiled until the gent beamed and patted her on the back, ordering her another lemonade). They took in anyone, and for that Nastia was eternally grateful.

Her eyes landed on a familiar figure and she couldn't help but smile to herself, standing for a moment and just enjoying the lovely sight of Alex from afar. Her eyes slid down from his tousled brown hair, down his leather jacket and to the seat of his jeans which showed off a perfectly sculpted butt, causing Nastia to bite her lip for a moment. What she wouldn't give to get him out of those jeans...  A flush came into her jeans as she smirked at the thought, though she pushed it out of her mind, mainly so she wouldn't accidentally blurt such thoughts to him when she went over to chat. She knew very well that she shouldn't be having such thoughts about her teacher. But she didn't care. He was gorgeous. Not to mention kind and charming and funny. Besides, it was a harmless crush, and it wasn't like he couldn't read minds anyway. Not that she'd be complaining if he could.

Finally, the girl stopped her admiring and wandered over to Alex, a lopsided grin on her lips. "Fancy running into you here tonight." She bit the inside of her lip hard as she looked into those piercing blue eyes of his and for a moment she lost all ability to form a sentence. Out of everything she liked about him, and there was a lot, his eyes were the thing that had drawn her to him from the very start. So beautiful and so complicated. Right now she felt that just his gaze alone would cause her knees to turn to jelly and so to be on the safe side she perched on the bar stool next to him. "What's your poison tonight?"

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Notes: *cackles like a maniac*
Words: 887
Outfit: Reusing old outfit because the style fit.
Credit: Calypso for the template; "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
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Alexander McMillan

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PostSubject: Re: Drink's On Me // Alex   Sun Feb 22, 2015 7:53 pm





give a little time to me or burn this out
GIVE ME LOVE LIKE NEVER BEFORE, 'CAUSE LATELY I'VE BEEN CRAVING MORE, AND IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT I STILL FEEL THE SAME, MAYBE I SHOULD LET YOU GO


He should stop before he hurt himself. He knew he shouldn't do this to himself. But why fight it when it was inevitable that this would happen? Why couldn't he bring himself to walk out on her already? Why couldn't he look anyone in the eye and admit that he was doing this to himself? Alex shook his head and ran a hand back through his tousled hair and let it stay rested on his neck, his nails just digging into his skin as he stared down at the glass in his hand. Andy hadn't questioned what he'd asked for, even though it was hardly him to ask for something like that which was in his glass. The other male had simply nodded, given him an understanding pat on the arm and then poured his order, sliding the glass across the bar to him.

Alex dropped his head a little, his hand resting back on the bar as he closed his eyes for a moment before he knocked back the rest of the drink quickly and with an ease that was almost scary to him before sliding the glass back onto the bar. It was stronger than his usual - and his usual was not to be drank like a shot like he had just done - and it burned the whole way down, but it felt so good. He knew it wasn't supposed to.

Why does she have to do this to us? She wasn't the woman he had married. The woman he had fallen in love with had been beautiful - in spirit and in face. She had been fun-loving, adventurous... Forgiving. Understanding. Then she'd gotten the new job and the money had come in, and Alex lost touch with that gorgeous blonde leaning shyly against his door in the white floor-length dress she still wore even though the reception was long over. The warmth in her eyes was replaced by dominance. And here he was... He'd become submissive. And it wasn't love.

Was it fear? Maybe. "Another?" Andy's gentle comment broke through his thoughts and he saw the bartender leaning on the bar across from him, the bottle of Jack Daniel's in hand. Upon his slightly confused look, Andy gave a small nod to the empty glass in front of him, and Alex finally nodded. "If you would, please," he said quietly. Andy nodded in confirmation, pouring him another glass before setting the bottle back on the shelf in its proper place and moving away to give the man his space, although Alex didn't miss the concern in the bartender's eyes. He might not regularly drink heavily, but Alex was still a regular - even on a friends basis with Andy by now. But Alex didn't want the sympathy, nor the understanding. He didn't want the advice that drinking wouldn't help him. It would numb the edge and let him loosen up without ripping up the back roads on the way to the barn and riding through the long trails until Raven's legs and his jeans were equally dusted and splattered with the trail's mud and dust and potentially hiding out for long and strange hours with the mare, making sure her coat was shining and she was content with the rest of the academy's horses. At any rate and either way, this behavior was bound to catch Matt's attention, and Alex could only imagine the concern that would come into the tone that demanded an explanation. He'd seen his boss slightly angry, and he didn't fancy being the one even that slight annoyance was directed at. Lawson was a friend as well as his employer, and he didn't want to hurt that friendship now that it had been founded. He valued the concept of friends, and he also valued his job.

But right now he couldn't bring himself to focus on that. He felt way too hurt to think clearly about that, and not even the chatter that filled the bar could take that pain away. This was something he had to hurt over, and he hated that. He knew the only reason why Andy had tried to talk to him when he'd came in, which was a whole three or four rounds ago by now, was because he didn't want to see him do anything that could hurt himself, but Alex was starting to doubt what could hurt him. What more could the world do to him these days?

For the sake of those that did care, he worked on his newest round a little more slowly, his distant gaze still rested on the bar, where an old photo from his wallet rested. Alex bit at the inside of his lower lip hard as he looked over the photo again and he took another swallow from his glass, his eyes not leaving the picture. He thought it was from one of their early vacations together, but after all this time, he couldn't be sure anymore. Either way, she was smiling, half of her face hidden under her wavy blonde hair. It was one of those pictures of her in her favorite dress, a beautiful beach with a clear blue ocean behind her. Mindlessly, Alex picked up the photo, running his thumb over it as he thought back to those times... What happened to you, Cat...?

Alex frowned, almost scowling before he tucked the photo into the inside pocket of his jacket and took another long drink from his glass. It didn't matter what had happened to her. There was no getting the Catherine he'd married back. Not since the incident... Just thinking about it made his side hurt. He never wanted to see that dark night again, much less see that kind of look on Matt's face again when the older man had caught him grimacing as he climbed into the saddle. The bitch had hurt him. Nothing more to it. She was no longer the woman he'd known. She was a monster. And he'd learned the hard way what would happen if he tried to resist.

He was startled when a familiar voice broke through his thoughts and he nearly jumped. Thankfully, he managed to restrain his shock enough so that the only action that would say anything of him being startled was him whipping his head up quickly, his gaze resting on Anastasia as she slid up on the bar stool next to him, and he felt a small smile pull on his lips as he saw the one on her face. "Truth be told... Even I need some way to blow off steam besides the barn." He then finished off the remnants of his drink in a similar fashion to the round he had done before, sliding the glass back onto the bar as another small smile showed on his lips at her next question. "Well, that was a glass of Jack Daniels," he said, looking back up at her, which was when a small frown replaced his smile. "My third or fourth glass, I believe..."

He looked away from her then, feeling partly guilty for setting such an example, but he couldn't bring himself to lie about how much he'd already had to her. For some reason, he couldn't do that. He was her teacher. He was supposed to be better than that for her. It wasn't exactly the most proper form for him to be caught drinking in the bar - four rounds in and with the intention to buy many more - and in an emotionally touchy state by his own student, especially Nastia. She was one of his favorites... One he felt like he didn't want to let down, whatever the hell that meant...

Clearing his throat roughly, he looked back up at Nastia, attempting to push off his own personal motives to, at the very least, save some face in front of her. He hated to be this way in front of her... It just seemed... Irresponsible... "So..., what about you? What brings you hear on a night like this?"



tagged: his dear nastia :3  words: 1,343  notes: sorry, not sorry, and do NOT feel like you gotta match this length. Alex just got a little carried away on his poor, lonely reflection


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Anastasia Orlova

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PostSubject: Re: Drink's On Me // Alex   Sun Feb 22, 2015 9:00 pm

give a little time to me or burn this out, we'll play hide and seek to turn this around
ALL I WANT IS THE TASTE THAT YOUR LIPS ALLOW, OH MY MY, GIVE ME LOVE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As the bartender slipped a lemonade towards her and she nodded her thanks, Nastia bit her tongue hard to keep her crude comment to herself. She'd wanted to say that she knew a lot of ways that one could blow off some steam without horses or drinking being involved, but such a comment was not only inappropriate because she was his student, but also because there was something clearly troubling Alex and she felt that outright flirting with him right now wouldn't be a very good idea. Not that it ever could be, but now seemed the worst time for it.

Frowning when he told her exactly what he was drinking and how much, Nastia studied him. Her breath caught in her throat and she was startled to see something that during the whole time she knew him she'd never seen in Alex's eyes before flit through for the briefest of moments. Anger and fear. The girl had never seen either emotion displayed by Alex; to her her was always been happy and cheerful. Several times she had caught him upset likely because of an argument with the Bitch, and she'd seen him annoyed, but this was something else. She tore her gaze away from him and took a gulp of her drink, ice cold sweetness coating her throat. She pushed it away from her; it tasted too sweet, too sickly. It made her nauseous.  

She fought the urge to reach out and touch his cheek, to pull him close and tell him that whatever had happened, it'd be ok. She almost had to sit on her hands to stop herself, but since the movement meant that he would know that something was up with her that were more than friendly feelings, she instead jammed her hands between her thighs to keep herself from reaching out to him and pretended to stretch out her back and shoulders. Her heart ached for him and her mind was spinning. Her teeth sinking into her bottom lip to stop the rage that was creeping up on her, she turned away for a moment so she could get her racing heart and shallow breaths under control.

She knew exactly why he was drinking, or at least had a fairly good idea of why. No doubt Queen Bitch had had another go at him tonight. She wondered what it was this time. Too much time spent at the barn? His truck? His friends? From all that she'd heard about the self-obsessed female Lucifer, she knew it could be one of a million things. He was never perfect enough for her, and Nastia hated her for it with her entire being. She couldn't understand how someone could treat their partner in such a way. How could someone be so cruel to someone they loved?

The blonde looked over at the male and tears pricked her eyes though she blinked them away furiously. She wanted to hug him and to shake him hard. She wanted to yell, asking him why the hell he was still with such a monster. But most of all she wanted to cry because he would continue to put up with such treatment and never leave the Bitch for someone who truly cared for him and would never want to hurt him. Someone like her. If he was hers, she would hurt herself before she even thought of hurting him.

But that didn't matter, because he wasn't hers. He wasn't even his own person; Lucifer owned him. "Alex..." she started, her words soft as she chewed on her lip, trying to get the dreaded words out. Her hand reached up of its own accord and touched his upper arm, gentle like a kitten's touch for fear of hurting him. "Alex, what happened? What did she do to you?"

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Notes: *sobss like a banshee*
Words: 635
Outfit: Reusing old outfit because the style fit.
Credit: Calypso for the template; "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
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Alexander McMillan

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PostSubject: Re: Drink's On Me // Alex   Sun Feb 22, 2015 9:31 pm





give a little time to me or burn this out
GIVE ME LOVE LIKE NEVER BEFORE, 'CAUSE LATELY I'VE BEEN CRAVING MORE, AND IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT I STILL FEEL THE SAME, MAYBE I SHOULD LET YOU GO


Alex swallowed hard, thinking maybe that would help clear the emotions that made him feel cornered even though there was plenty of room to move. There was plenty of air to breathe, yet he felt as if he was on the verge of suffocating. He was surprised his breathing was normal. Surprised that his hands were steady when motioned for Andy to simply surrender the bottle of Jack Daniel's. The bartender looked extremely unwilling, but did as requested anyways, and Alex poured another round of the drink into his glass before sighing heavily, gnawing on his lip as he held the glass, just studying it for a few moments, but leaving the alcohol within it untouched. For the moment, at least.

He should've been thankful that Andy was, in his own ways, warning him to watch how much he drank - warning him that he had to watch himself if he didn't want to have the authorities called to pick him up later if he didn't take care of himself and that he would have to answer to Matt entirely if such a thing did happen. And he should've been grateful that Nastia also approached him. He felt like she was concerned, and he knew she had every reason to be. But for some reason, her concern only made the hurt he felt all the more noticeable. But he dared not turn her away. He didn't want to.

He could feel the various conflicting emotions caught in his throat. Nastia knew who made him this way, and she knew damn well why he was like this, but he didn't want to scare her. Anger, fear... Hell, anguish... They were among things he'd dared not show her before, but he couldn't hide them now, and he didn't want to scare her with such things. He wished he could tell her that he'd leave if he could... Oh, how he wished he had the guts to tell her.

He found himself biting hard at his lip, head lowered again for several long moments before he took another drink from his glass to try to take his mind off of how stiff he felt all over. All the arguments he wished he could've avoided. What the hell had he seen in Catherine? Where had that woman that he'd married gone? Why couldn't he explain it all to Nastia? The weight he felt on his shoulders and on his chest was too much...

Then something came to his mind that scared him, and he hid a flinch behind a long gulp from his glass, finding a steep amount of comfort in the harsh burn of the alcohol. He hadn't told Anastasia yet because he feared for her. Catherine had hurt him, literally, and he feared what she would do if she found out he had gone to someone. She was a tyrant and a ruler. Once upon a time, he had felt like he lived and led his own life, free of the shackles he knew now. Now he walked around in a haze of lies. A smile was his facade, and her commands kept him in chains. He had tried to break through that haze before - attempted to break his chains because he was fully aware of what she was doing. Now he just accepted that those were boundaries he couldn't cross. Not if he valued his life. Not if he valued the lives of those he cared for and those that cared for him. He had kept them at a reasonable enough distance so they wouldn't get hurt. He didn't know how far that blonde tormentor he had at home would go. And it terrified him to the core.

The next breath he let out was shaky, and he knew his grip on the glass in his hands was tighter than necessary, but he didn't dare change it. Then he heard his name, and he looked back over at Nastia, doing his best to mask his emotions at least some, if not for his own sake, then hers. This was a bad night... His walls were down and that moment wasn't the time to fix them. He couldn't. He didn't have the strength right now.

Her question hurt, and for a few moments, he simply looked steadily at her, struggling to find words at the same time as he tried to push them out of his mouth. Again, he swallowed hard, forcing himself to hold eye contact with her even though he wanted to look away. "Too much," he said quietly. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you some of the things I've seen her do and heard her say. I don't want to believe some of it... I really don't, Nastia... I... I honestly wouldn't know where to begin in answering that question... If you knew... If you knew..." He cut himself off and looked away from her, feeling the cursing prick of tears in his eyes. He'd already told her too much, but all of what he had just told her had come too easy to his tongue. If he would tell anyone, it had to be Nastia. For whatever reason, he trusted her more than anyone else. If anyone would be able to have any kind of good influence on him, it would be her... It would have to be her.



tagged: his dear nastia :3  words: 894  notes: i'm trying really hard not to sob, but i'm not sure it's gonna work. *hides*


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Anastasia Orlova

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PostSubject: Re: Drink's On Me // Alex   Sun Feb 22, 2015 10:37 pm

give a little time to me or burn this out, we'll play hide and seek to turn this around
ALL I WANT IS THE TASTE THAT YOUR LIPS ALLOW, OH MY MY, GIVE ME LOVE
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It pained her to see him in such a state and Nastia swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat with difficulty. What had she done to him? What was that bitch doing to him behind closed doors that he had to drink like this to ease the pain? Rage welled up inside of Nastia and it was hard to squash it out. She didn't like this other side of him, only because he was filled with so much pain and knowing how much he was hurting hurt her too. He was so broken and all she wanted to do was hug him so tight that all the broken pieces of him would mend and he could be his normal cheerful self. A fresh wave of rage crashed upon her as she realized that because of the bitch, his whole demeanor at the Academy was nothing more than a facade. She had done that. Turned him into an outwardly-happy shell of a man. But no, maybe it wasn't a facade. Maybe it was his escape from the world. Nastia wasn't sure, and she wasn't going to ask him, but it hurt to think all the time that they'd spent together was a lie, that he'd faked being happy with her.

He held her gaze and tears pricked in her eyes again. She ducked her head so he wouldn't see her cry; he had enough troubles of his own without putting up with a crying female. She took a shaky breath in and willed herself to look up at him as he began to answer her question. It was hard for him; she couldn't make this harder on him just because of her own feelings and emotions. He needed to tell someone, and she wanted to be the one he told it to. She wanted to be the one that he leaned on in such times. Even though she wished he didn't have to go through such times. Her breath hitched at his words and the hand on his arm gave a gentle squeeze. His answer left her with so many more questions than, and the girl opened her mouth to start asking, but next second she closed it. Here wasn't the place to do it. They needed to get out of here to somewhere more quiet and private. Somewhere where there was no chance that what he said to her would ever get out to anyone else.

"We should go," she uttered finally, her voice thick with emotions and unshed tears. Standing up, she pulled the glass from his grip and slid it, along with the bottle, to her right, out of his reach. She hated forcing people into doing things, like stopping them from drinking when they were in so much pain that they needed it, but he had a reputation to uphold. Andy might not talk, but the rest of the bar might and undoubtedly it would get back to either Matt or Lucifer. Or even both. She figured that Matt wouldn't be too harsh on Alex, but if Lucifer caught wind of him getting drunk and telling someone all the troubles he had with her (and to another female, no less), Nastia was sure there would be hell for him to pay and she didn't want him to get any more hurt. She couldn't protect him while he was with her, but she could damn well try.

She fished in her pockets for some notes, pulling out a crumpled fifty which she placed on the bar to cover his drinks and hers. On second thought, she pulled out a crumpled twenty and tossed it with the second note. That should cover the tab. And if it didn't, well, Andy knew where to find them both. "I'm going to take him home. There's an empty dorm at the Academy, he can crash there," she told Andy. In reality she was going to take him back to her dorm, to make sure that he made it through the night without choking on his own bile or hurting himself. She gestured for Andy to come closer and then leaned across the bar. "I know it's hard to keep the guys from talking, but could you make sure this doesn't get out. It be best if the, er, wife didn't find out about it. She's a bit of a bunny boiler..."

She turned back to Alex and tugged his arm, pasting a determined smile on her face. "C'mon, Rabbit, let's get you home." She wanted to drape his arm around her and pull him out of the bar, but that would cause too much unwanted chatter and instead she swiped the unfinished bottle of Jack on the table and took a couple of steps away from him, turning to make sure he was following. Her head dropped to the side slightly as she studied him. The nickname hadn't meant to come out, and she wondered if she should apologize for it. But right now it fitted him so well.

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Notes: *continues sobbing*
Words: 839
Outfit: Reusing old outfit because the style fit.
Credit: Calypso for the template; "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
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Alexander McMillan

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PostSubject: Re: Drink's On Me // Alex   Sun Feb 22, 2015 11:04 pm





give a little time to me or burn this out
GIVE ME LOVE LIKE NEVER BEFORE, 'CAUSE LATELY I'VE BEEN CRAVING MORE, AND IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT I STILL FEEL THE SAME, MAYBE I SHOULD LET YOU GO


It took more than Alex would ever like to admit to keep from breaking entirely right then and there. He'd spent too much time pretending that everything was okay and manageable that he felt exhaustion hitting him suddenly and out of the blue. It was a struggle to simply maintain a regular rate of breathing, although, by some miracle, he managed to pull it off, and, even though he said nothing, he was more than grateful for Nastia's hand on his arm, because it hadn't gone unnoticed by him.

He made no protest as she pried the glass from his grip and he swallowed hard again, running one hand back through his hair and taking a deep breath in an attempt to hold on to whatever part of his composure that he could. He raised his head slightly to watch her fish a few bills out of her pockets to cover their tab, and his first thought was to mumble something along the lines of not having her worry about his own drinking habits, but, before he even opened his mouth to attempt such a thing, he thought better of it, and looked back to Andy on the other side of the bar to see that the bartender was giving him a rather pointed look, telling him to try to keep it together, at least while in the public eye.

Seeing the instructor turn back to his own thoughts, Andy leaned against the bar, his gaze, tainted with worry and concern, turned to Anastasia, giving her a nod of confirmation when she shared her plans for taking the male back to the academy. He'd be safe there, from whatever the hell his home life put him through. He paid even closer attention to the female's second request and gave her a second nod to say he'd do what he could. "I'll do what I can, ma'am," he told her quietly. "Just get him out of here and keep him away from that monster of a woman, and I'll take care of the rest. Promise." The bartender then sighed softly, and gave Alex a final pat on the arm, his gaze clear of the emotions he'd been displaying just a few short moments earlier before he turned back to his job.

Alex glanced back up at Nastia's tug on his arm, pulled again from his thoughts and taking in the smile on her face and forcing the smallest half-smile because he didn't want her to think he didn't appreciate her help. He might've lied about everything being fine. No one but him knew everything. Everyone else knew bits and pieces. Nastia would be the first one to know everything. It was daunting to think he had intentions of spilling the whole chaotic mess to her, and he feared what she would think after he had told the tragedy, but he felt she was the one that would understand. She was genuine - a stark contrast to the woman he'd left at home. He stood then to follow her, thankful the he could still manage himself on his own two feet although he didn't miss the slight unsteadiness that he quickly took care of before following after her meekly, without another word. He was too exhausted and 'battle-worn' to even think of protesting her taking him out of the bar before he could do any damage, and, even if he was able to do such a thing, he wouldn't have. He trusted her. What she was doing for him right now was more of a help than he would ever be able to explain to her.



tagged: his dear nastia :3  words: 604  notes: alex and andy and and and... *huggles caly and sobs along*


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Anastasia Orlova

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PostSubject: Re: Drink's On Me // Alex   Tue Mar 24, 2015 4:43 am

give a little time to me or burn this out, we'll play hide and seek to turn this around
ALL I WANT IS THE TASTE THAT YOUR LIPS ALLOW, OH MY MY, GIVE ME LOVE
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Running a hand through her hair, Nastia gave a deep sigh. This wasn't exactly how she'd imagined this night going. She'd expected...well, she wasn't exactly sure what she'd expected. Probably a lot more flirting and maybe even a cheeky kiss or two, as opposed to learning of the abuse that Alex was having to put up with on a daily basis. She knew that he and his wife had been having troubles for some time now. She'd known since Christmas that the relationship was rocky, because who the hell spent time at a stable when he could be home with his wife doing all sorts of wonderfully inappropriate things on a holiday? She could think of at least five different ways to use the tinsel from the tree alone. Obviously something was very wrong in a relationship if Christmas meant avoiding your spouse and hanging out with your fellow students. But she hadn't expected for it to get to such a level. This was a whole different ball game.

The cool night air hit her hard as she stepped outside, and Nastia bit her lip hard as all of the night's proceedings sunk in with a clarity only the cold night could achieve. An involuntary shiver ran down her spine, and as she set about calling a cab, she closed the gap between them, snuggling in under his arm so it rested around her shoulders, and bringing her free hand around his waist as if to steady him. She wasn't sure how he would feel about such closeness, but she decided she no longer cared. This evening had brought her to the brink of tears and all she wanted right now was for someone to hold her and whisper soft reassurances in her ear while she cried into their shoulder. This was the closest thing to having someone do that as she would get. Especially with him. He'd never hug her, or kiss her, or whisper soft reassurances while kissing the pain away. Again she bit down on her lip, this time tasting blood but not caring. She was being selfish, she knew, but seeing him in such a state was the straw breaking the camel's back. Every emotion that she'd kept in check ever since meeting him was now revolting, attempting to be let out.

Returning her phone to her pocket, she let out a sigh, her fingers itching to bring the unfinished bottle of Jack to her lips and finish of its contents, but she resisted. One drunk person was more than enough, and besides she feared that if she got drunk, she would end up saying a lot of things that she would later come to regret. Top of that list would be raging and murderous things about his wife (and oh how it would break her heart if he even tried to defend her in any way), and potentially screeching at him for not leaving her already. By this point she'd completely given up hope of him leaving the bitch for herself, but all she wanted was for him to just leave. To walk out that door and never look back because it meant that he would be safe. Safe from all the torment and anguish and abuse. Safe to actually come out of the shell she'd confined him to. Lastly, there was the little possibility that after her verbal rampage, she might confess her feelings to him. Which she wouldn't have been so afraid of doing were she not so afraid that these feelings weren't reciprocated. She would rather join a convent or have to give up riding forever rather than spill her heart to him and have her feelings shut down and her heart broken.

She was so tired of this all. She was tired of hiding her emotions from him while watching from the sidelines as he continued to be with someone who tormented him. She was sick of being the one that had to cheer him up after every argument, not because she hated the job, but because she felt sick every time she thought of how Lucifer had hurt him once again and he'd stayed. She was tired of dropping hints that the relationship that they had wasn't healthy and that he needed to leave. But mostly she was tired of not being allowed to hug him and kiss away his pain every time she saw him hurt. It was draining, but she did it because she loved him. Her affection was clearly not returned but oh god how she loved him and wanted him to be happy. So she put on a smile for him, even when she didn't feel it, because she didn't want to burden him with more troubles and just wanted to make him happy. Tears pricked her eyes and unbidden, a tear fell down her cheek. Looking away, she swallowed the lump in her throat, trying not to cry. Something had to give. She loved him, but she couldn't keep doing this to herself. Either he did something about the matter, or she would do it herself, and damn the consequences.

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Notes: He needs to do something. This was the most draining post of my life to write because it was so sad. I honestly don't know how long Nastia will be able to continue before breaking down.
Words: 856
Outfit: Reusing old outfit because the style fit.
Credit: Calypso for the template; "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran
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Alexander McMillan

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PostSubject: Re: Drink's On Me // Alex   Tue Mar 24, 2015 6:21 pm





give a little time to me or burn this out
GIVE ME LOVE LIKE NEVER BEFORE, 'CAUSE LATELY I'VE BEEN CRAVING MORE, AND IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT I STILL FEEL THE SAME, MAYBE I SHOULD LET YOU GO


Following Nastia out into the night's cool air, some part of him knew he was hurting her. Quite frankly, he hated it. Forget about the bitch he knew at the house - he dared not call it a home - and forget about whatever the hell he'd came out to forget. Hurting Anastasia with his own situation hurt more than words could properly describe, and he didn't even know why.

When she approached him to rest his arm around her shoulders, he, without thinking, settled on a grip just tight enough that she could feel it, but not enough to hurt her. He'd already started this story, so there was no sense in stopping short of the full tale. "Nastia..." Where what he wanted to tell her then had come from was almost a mystery... He felt like he knew somewhere deep in his mind - someplace that he'd never really acknowledged its existence and it was simply the situation at hand that finally brought it to the front of his mind. "Thank you..." He also wanted to tell her that he was sorry for laying such a thing on her so suddenly under such circumstances, along a million other different things he wanted to tell her he was sorry for and explain. Some of that would have to wait... Some...

With a soft sigh of defeat, he shook his head ever so slightly. He wanted the right words to tell her how he felt for her, but he didn't have them. Maybe there were none to use... Looking back over at her, he couldn't resist brushing her hair out of her face with his free hand. To hell with whatever idiots would blame this mess on the drinks and a lack of control on his part. He didn't even know if he possessed such a thing as self-control these days.

It was more than likely that he was already being too bold, but he felt like only actions could explain how he felt, considering he was lacking in words at that moment. Really not knowing what else to do, he rested his head on top of hers, not loosening the hold he'd put around her.

The small, sleepy town was actually quite beautiful at such an hour. The whole valley was, actually. Recently though, he hadn't actually been able to acknowledge it. It was the sad, harsh truth that he hadn't. He'd been so caught up in the other aspects of his life that the simple things had kind of gone out of contact. He could even recall a few trail rides that he'd taken by himself on Raven that he'd simply been going through the motions because the mare needed exercise outside of the arena or else she, and Alex himself, quite truthfully, would get bored with the routine at the ring. It was right about then that a few words came to his mind, and for a few moments, he smiled ever so slightly. "It was always you..." They came out quietly and they felt like a forbidden, but beautiful sin. He knew they'd need explaining, but at that exact moment, he didn't want to think too hard on them. For once in a long time, he simply wanted to just let the moment sink in. What the moment would bring, he didn't know... And that was part of the reason why it felt so great.



tagged: his dear nastia :3  words: 569  notes: i can't even say sorry... *walks off to a corner to sob*


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